I confess…
… that I have been loving
everything about being a stay at home mom these last few months, but it is
really lonely sometimes. I’ve always
been the type of person who loves solitude and I really enjoy my own company
(that doesn’t sound conceited at all – haha!), but goodness gracious after
months on end it gets lonely. I definitely
miss the daily interaction and camaraderie with my old work peeps. I think I might start talking to myself
before long! Haha.
… that since I haven’t been
getting that daily adult interaction, I have been feeling one of two ways by
the evening. A) I say all. the. things.
to B as soon as he walks in the door… I literally fill him in on every single
detail of my day and talk his ear off for the rest of the night. Or B) I’ve been quiet for so long that I become
conditioned and I barely talk all evening.
… that I have talked on the
actual phone more during these last few months than I have in the last ten years
probably. Lol. I have pretty much always been a texter since
texting became popular, but since I’ve been alone during the day I’ve been
talking on the phone more often and when somebody calls me I end up talking
forever. Adrienne and I talked for
almost an hour the other day… I can’t even tell you the last time I talked to
somebody on the phone for an hour! It’s
probably been years!
… that our kids get out for
the summer in just two months and I’m not remotely where I wanted to be in my
cleaning out and simplifying process yet.
My goal was to have the entire house done by the time they got out for
summer, but it’s taking so much longer than I expected so I’m thinking it may
not quite be done by then.
… that I’m a little nervous
about being home with both kids 24/7 for almost three months straight. Yes, I realize that sounds really weird since
they are my kids and all, but remember, I’ve always worked full-time, so aside
from maternity leave, I’ve never spent a huge chunk of time with them without a
break. And most of my large chucks of
time off with them have been for vacation so B is always with us. My first real taste of what summer will be
like was Christmas break when I was with them for almost three weeks. It was definitely great, but I’ll admit it
was nice to have a break when they went back to school. Patience is not my strong suit and they are
both at very lively ages (to put it nicely – LOL), so this summer could be
interesting. That said, I’m also really
thrilled to be home with them for so long, too.
It is going to be so much fun being able to have a traditional summer!
… that the hardest thing
about not working has been not being able to buy stuff that I want when I want
it, and also feeling guilty when I do spend money. I’ve made my own money since I was 12 when I
started washing cars, cleaning our neighbors’ houses, and baby-sitting and then
I got a “real job” as soon as I turned 16.
It’s really unsettling knowing that I’m not bringing anything to the
table financially and I’m having a really hard time getting past it. I've been holding out for so long there is a ton of stuff that I want... good thing my birthday is coming up!
Whew, it feels so good to get all of my thoughts out! I think I need to bring these posts back at least monthly!
I understand completely. I always get into a "funk" in the winter months but the rest of the year. I am begging for days that I can stay home all day long and not talk to anyone. Between voluteering at both kid's schools, the etsy shop, WW, the gym, and keeping up with the house. I feel like most days, I'm running around crazy!
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids were little we had all the playdates. That kept the kids busy and the mamas happy! :) You will be surprised how fast Summer will fly by! We would find all the free activties to do... parks, movies, etc!
Even as a SAHM I still hate talking on the phone. But that's probably b/c my kids won't let me talk on the phone, since it's all "whose calling you mama!! Can I talk to them!!??" and then the one time Annabelle is at school, and Autumn is napping is sacred time, where I can get stuff done.
ReplyDeleteSuch an amazing opportunity.....I know you are going to rock being a SAHM this summer!
ReplyDeleteHa! Giiiirl, I started talking to myself a loooong time ago! LOL! I seriously talk to myself at the grocery store all the time! So I completely understand where you're coming from. And oh-my-gosh, thank goodness for my mom and sister - we're phone talkers and they've helped me pass the time and get through piles upon piles of laundry in the last seven years! Ever since we've had kids, I've been home with them and we don't have family nearby. I don't regret one moment and I've loved being home!!! But, I can literally count the number of times I've left my kiddos, other than taking them to school. It's crazy. Hence why I think my blogging is terrible and why things never seem to get done. In the fall I'll be alone for the first time and then it's game on for cleaning, blogging and organizing! Although, I must admit - it's bittersweet to think about. You've got this girl! You're taking take of your household and making a lovable, organized and warm home. Just know, in those silent days of yours, you're still inspiring Mamas out there like me! :)
ReplyDeleteI could totally see being lonely, too! Sometimes I feel like that work even, on those days when I am working on something that doesn't require me to work with anyone else and other people that I normally talk to are gone and then when I do talk to someone is like I can't stop! You are doing amazing with your organizing - I really think you will have the majority of it done once the kiddos are out of school! These posts are fun - you should definitely bring them back!
ReplyDeleteI get you about the summer! That's why my kids go to camps - I can't have them home for that long without outside entertainment!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on it being lonely! Whenever I'm off for summer break, it's great at first, but usually by the middle of July, I'm ready to go back because I'm so bored! I talk Dustin's head off too by the time he gets home haha!
ReplyDeleteSarah at MeetTheShaneyfelts
I love these confessions. I miss doing them as well. Yay for being a sahm. I would be fearing the summer months at home with my kids too. It is a lot of work!!! But you got this. Remember to take some time for yourself during those months.
ReplyDeleteDave is with Sadie in the summmers and we try to make sure she has something to do outside of the house so they get a break from each other lol. We're thinking of a 3-week, 3 days a week summer camp for her this year to keep her busy. We also keep her on a schedule, at least in terms of things she has to do, so she isn't on a tablet or TV all day!
ReplyDeleteYes! All of these! I will say that play dates and rest/naptimes make the days go by so much faster/smoother for us. I try to have some sort of activity or outing for us to do each morning and that helps too. As for duly interaction, joining a bible study, a book club, and reaching out to really get to know other people in my neighborhood helped SO much!
ReplyDeleteYes, girl, we will be doing aaaallll the activities!! You are so right!
DeleteI get it./ I about went buts when i was on maternity leave for 12 weeks. I was chomping at the bit for human interaction. Amen to you for staying at home, but put them in some activities or a camp during the summer and schedule some you time. You deserve it and need it.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post - I think we all can be torn between the too much vs too little time with our children dilemma, and being out of that work routine can be hard. I am sure that however things pan out with work - whether you return quicker of later than expected everything will happen for a reason and you will adapt and new opportunities will also emerge (blimey I sound like one of those naff horoscope people!) - Wishing you all the best - Joanne x
ReplyDeleteMan I don't know what I would do, like you I've always worked, it always sounds nice to not work, but in reality I don't know if I could do it! Happy Friday eve!
ReplyDelete