Thursday, February 8, 2018

Things Jacob Says - Volume 3

At least once a year I try to dedicate a post to showcase all of the fun and crazy things that the kids say, and today it’s Jacob’s turn!





April 1, 2017

Brian – “Hey Jacob, today is April first.  Do you know what happened on April first?”

Jacob – “No, what?”

Brian – “I proposed to Mommy.”

Jacob – “What does proposed mean?”

Brian – “I asked Mommy if she would marry me.  On April 1, 2007 I asked Mommy if she would marry me and she said yes!”

Jacob – “Did you say please?”

Brian – “No, I don’t think I did.”

Jacob – “If you didn’t say please then why did she say yes?”

July 14, 2017

Olivia – “I want a grilled cheese that has cheese on it.”

Jacob – “All grilled cheeses have cheese in them.  That’s why their last name is cheese.”

August 4, 2017

Jacob after a trip to Walmart with Brian – “Do you know why it’s called Walmart?”

Brian – “Why?”

Jacob – “Because you need a wallet to buy stuff.  WAL-mart.”

Brian – “Oh really?  That’s a pretty good theory.”

Jacob – “Yep, that’s why God named it Walmart.”

August 28, 2017

Olivia looks up at the sun and says – “Look, there’s the sun!”

Jacob – “Did you know that Jesus is the sun?”

*Brian and I look at each other puzzled*

Then we realized that he means that Jesus is the SON, as in God’s son. 

September 9, 2017

Olivia talking about gymnastics – “Well, I fell on my head two twices so I don’t like gymnastics.”

Jacob – “Well actually two twices would just be four, so…”

September 27, 2017

Me – “Jacob, what did you end up having for lunch today?”

Jacob – “A corndog, but I don’t like corndogs.”

Me – “Well, did you pull the bread off and just eat the hot dog?”

Jacob – “Wait, there’s a hot dog in there?!”

October 18, 2017

Jacob gives me a hug and then says – “Mommy, do you know why I didn’t squeeze you too hard?”

Me – “No, why, Buddy?”

Jacob – “Because I heard you have a back allergy.”  (Referring to my back pain.)

December 15, 2017

In the car on the way home…

Jacob – “Mommy, I know how to spell liquor.”

*Me, trying to figure out how he knows the word liquor*

Me – “How do you spell… liquor, buddy?”

Jacob – “L-I-Q-U-O-R”

*Me, baffled, trying to figure out how he knows how to spell liquor, and why he even knows the word in the first place*

Me – “Why do you know the word liquor, Bud?”

Jacob – “Because it’s right on that sign over there!”

*ME, RELIEVED*

February 6, 2018

Jacob after putting on chap stick – “I don’t have lipstick, I have life stick.  Because when it touches your lips it changes your life.”

And that’s a wrap!




18 comments:

  1. SO FUNNY! Liquor...that is priceless!

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  2. Hahaha, cracking up! So true about chapstick. And so deep with the saying please when proposing - you have got to remind him of that in years when he finds the perfect person for him!

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  3. Chap stick "life stick"/ "lip stick" changes my life, too, Jacob....my life, too... 😂 ;) Lol! These were fantastic!

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  4. LOL!! Chapstick does change your life!!! And he is a clever little guy with the liquor and knowing that please is needing when asking an important question.

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  5. These are too cute. I love that a grilled cheese's last name is cheese! little boys say the funniest things!

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  6. The first two had me cracking up! and the back allergy one gave me all the heart eyes ... too cute!

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  7. I love posts like this. I always want to write them but never remember, although I had a few from when Simon was younger! My favorite is grilled cheese / last name cheese!

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  8. LOLOL I had to go over to my coworker and tell her about the Walmart one!!

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  9. bahahah, the liquor, the fact that he could read it, amazing! I love the things kids say.

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  10. I love that you are keeping up with these. They will cherish them one day, especially when Jacob is looking for material for his opening night at The Improv!

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    1. Haha. Yep, he'll have a good ol' time reading these when he's older!

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  11. Kids are too funny with what they say. I love that he asked Brian if he said please before he proposed to you. Haha and how about God named Walmart!

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  12. I am cracking up!! He is the sweetest and funniest little boy! <3

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  13. Oh my gosh he is a riot. I am cracking up about the corn dog thing.

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  14. I'm dying....this totally got my morning off with a good laugh! I just love how funny kids are. You will be so glad you documented some day!! He's a hoot.

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